So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
