Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize