just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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