Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
wanna go halves on a baby?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
