some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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