I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
