You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
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so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
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She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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