About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
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I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
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I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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