I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
