I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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