it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
