i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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