i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
