I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
