she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
