Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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