so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
