Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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