Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Can I color on your dick again?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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