apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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