butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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