I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
should my penis look like a turkey
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Such a big mess for such a small penis
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
