this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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