I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
