I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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