PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
