Sry I called you an 8
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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