Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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