You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
