oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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