it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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