I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
