he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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