So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Randomize
