no, he came in my armpit
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
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