The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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