The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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