Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
