I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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