This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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