I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
