My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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