I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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