That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
