why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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