I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
