i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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