just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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