every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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