god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
