Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
