if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he was CRYING into my vagina
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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