I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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