Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
