Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
