Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
