I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
