You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Randomize
