Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
