i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
