What a fucking waste of an outfit
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
