Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
