It's Friday. Sex?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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