It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I love you. Go after that dick
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