ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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